today

I wish i could have been more at ease on my blind date. It was really awkward. I am not going to do it again. I hate such a thing. She was conceited about what she had. But it was very uncomfortable for me. She acted childishly as if she was a person of higher than me like a defeatist.
And She was lying something so that I should feel somehow small in the presence of a high person. Why did you do that way? Was it a competition? Should we recognize which higher person is in a blind date? To make me higher or richer, I should have overdid my things? Do I have to exaggerate what I have? If so, I give up. Why did you laugh at me? You were quite rude to me.

Actually, You looked like a painted cat. That is your first impression unfortunately. You think I fell for you so I did my best to make good mood? You was fun. I just did because of my senior who made that date. You got it?

He forced me to do that even though I rejected several times. Form now on, I am going to do just for me moment by moment. I am still sorry for my twisted behebavior and look back on my bad past to my ex-girlfriend. She is still trying to overcome whole things affected by me. SORRY FOR EVERYTHING TO HER. How can I forget? How am I smile now? I am so thankful for everything I have been given from her. She was all I had for years. Just time heals all wounds.